man dog

man dog, originally uploaded by Ihatewetsocks.

i will pass by a mirror and be surprised by what i see. i always forget what i look like. that may sound crazy, but it's so true.

leaving for china by mid march to teach english for nine months. i wonder what can happen from now until then. 2010 came so fast. time is becoming less and less real to me. it's strange/awesome.

these walls aren't pillows.

i have been shooting a lot of photography. i got a website up. www.ralphsreel.com i might have already posted that, but that's fine.

this photo is from going up to orlando recently for karen's 21st birthday. it was a really great time. i love my friends.

today felt good

yo la tengo makes me feel good. 

i have figured out that i am addicted to people. for everything. for the pain, the love, the hate, the stories, the silence, the memories, the not so random random encounters, the beautiful women, the honest men, the lies, the scars, and smiles and tears. i want to talk to everyone. i want to hear everyone's heart pound their words and have their eyes hold on to mine like i was the last person that would hear them. 

in nyc, i loved when i would walk by someone and by chance of motion, our eyes would lock and hold for what seemed like hours. it's as if you and that person are trying to learn as much as you possibly can about the other by being entranced by their line of vision. 

i walked by a woman in a whole foods who rammed her elbow into a counter top by accident and she mouthed "oh fuck!" silently and i saw it all happen. instantaneously i get a sharp pain in my elbow on the same side she hit. i feel your pain.

i am going to write to someone i don't know about some things. try writing a letter. it feels way better than electric mail. 

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ihatewetsocks/3821095972/

click all sizes. 

Deerhunter - Twilight at Carbon Lake from Ralph Giunta on Vimeo.

hmm

this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpulH9LszQI

there are many things going on. a lot of guitar playing and film scanning and skateboarding too. something like an 8 minute skate montage, a good 10 minute storm video (all lightning shots, filmed on the beach at night), and a film to a Amiina song. I am working on many thing simultaneously which can be frustrating when a result would be nice. and i'm also doing two documentary kind of videos... one on the cruise i went on and one on the trip to ashville, north carolina i just went on. it seems that you always want to be in the place that you are not. that feeling is a horrible one, but a feeling nonetheless. 

look into my eyes.

NKC

I was listening to vinyls from Nat King Cole the other day as it was raining. it was so perfect. just waking up with that late morning feel. the tones of a rainy day lightly coloring my room and my mood. if you never experienced this, i suggest you find a friend with a record player and a goodwill nearby. i am positive they will have at least 20 Nat King Cole records. 

since i have left kaplan university, working as an admissions advisor, i have found that happiness. i have found my childhood curiousity and intuition again. everyone should get back in touch with this, but it is so hard because we don't give ourselves the time to. life is not work or a job or school or a sport or i don't even know what else. it is all of those things, of course, but it is SO much more than that. 

i find it hard to explain this right here and now, but i feel like i am preaching anyway, so i will chill and go back to editing. 

SKATE

http://vimeo.com/3736319

Eamon, Tom, and myself skated the delray park the other day. we filmed and eamon made a little ditty to it all. i was inspired and have been getting on my own edits as well. all new stuff coming soon. 

the stories that are just of now.

all it took was one photograph. and imagine if i had been the one to capture it. i would not have kept such a perfect composure around you. i would have barely been able to focus a camera, no less myself on the task at hand.

i once sent you a message. i told you how beautiful you were and all i did was tell you that. the response back (nothing) killed me. for some reason, it did. and i stopped there.

i fell in love with you shortly thereafter, but did not realize it until one busy night a few months ago. the music was beautiful and that's why we were there. not together, but together like everyone else. but i like to say that it was something more unique. this was being said to me through your eyes. 

i moved my way up to you amongst the others. i told you things and you told me things back, but your voice was much sweeter, naturally. i will never forget your smile. and i will never forget your boots. and how they remind me of someone else, but i don't even fucking care. i was just so happy.

____

it was a late night at work. a really late night, as most others would think. coming home around 2:15 am to find people still at my house. i minded this of course, until i laid my tired eyes on you. the time was a little past halloween, but not december. 

we first spoke about eckhart tolle. that's because his book was in my hand. you scoffed at me as if i were just hitting the surface. i felt that pretty hard. it was playful though. ( i think)

we all ended up in my room. one a stranger who i knew very well, a friend of his, and a few others. musical projects discussed (and played), and the like but before any of this, you and i spoke. we spoke of spirit and of the love of wisdom. and of the mind and of the study of the mind. of energy and of life. you ran downstairs to get something spectacular.

and that it was. a binder filled with information that made me want to never let you go. because anyone with the slightest bit of information on anything like this makes me love them, and you had a fucking binder filled with personal research. you knew more than me. you could teach me.

and you left. and i didn't see you for a long time. and i tried. and i tried. and i spoke. and i heard your name called back to me through others. but it was never where i looked.

but when i said goodbye, you accidentally said hello in the most random but expected once found out, kind of places. you still look the same. i like that. 

i am surprised to hear that i am spoken about amongst people i barely know. it is a strange feeling and it makes me wish i didn't have the feeling of wanting to know what they really spoke about. but just know that i think of even the ones i have met once.  i really do love you all. 

___

i never thought it would be so easy to fall in love through emails. i mean, fuck, are you kidding me? take a look.

here i am, sitting and looking busy but really waiting for a reply to a question that i don't even want to ask. what i really want to know is how the fuck did this happen to me? and so fast? i remember the first time i saw you. your walk meant business, and i had never been attracted to that. i loved this appeal you carry. but it's something that dissapears outside of the office. you become who you really are. you play "name a name from every letter of the alphabet" while lying on your carpet instead of a couch because you were wrongly robbed of furniture and things to do and of a dog that used to be the only thing that kept you going. you like structure. a lot. you like catholicism for this reason, and that is understandable, because it's whole thing is structure. i then pointed out to you that maybe, you had a fear of the unknown. a fear of the future; the seemingly unstructured.  you shook your head in acknowledgement before you even knew i was right. you didn't want to take it, but it was yours to own, and you signed.

i showed you lights. i finally showed you the lights. i finally saw you. you are innocent in a means of knowledge outside of cnn and the looks of a favorite bar, if you were still going to them. i asked when you would be finished and you said no. i said is this now home, and you said yes. i found out about your family. i love it all. i found out about him. i love that too.

in a weird under my breath but meant to be heard and then used to instigate the discussion i really want to hear voice came "Plastic Surgery" as i read it off a lit up marquee we passed on the way back to your apartment. you told me your opinion. i smiled and said i know. then you remembered that you had given me access to your whole life before you ever really knew who i was. you gave me the password to your private life and i didn't need permission after that. i read who you are and where you have come from and what you used to be. i don't think you can see integrally as well as i do, but i can't wait for you to.  you said you had trouble seeing the future. i know you do. because you're afraid it won't be what it is right now.  

___

i see you everywhere i go. and of course, i used to hate this, but now, i cherish it. i use this as a guide. thank you.

___

you are too much the same as myself. we had a conversation not too long ago in which i just repeated the same "I know" over and over like a boy trying to get off the phone with his grandmother. you told me everything that i am. some even surprised me. more because you were speaking about yourself and how you are. 

then you showed me a dialouge. i fell into that. i told a friend. he told me of a dream. you were in that dream and compared to another, current at that time, you ringed with harmony with me. with perfect harmony. i couldn't believe it, but i could and i did.

i had also dreamed about you once before. it was all too strange to bring back to now, but it was a beach, shells, a sexual connotation, a football, cell phones, and a question of "so, are you going to do something?" and wake up.

i have heard a lot about your fake spirituality. but i beg to differ after speaking to you. i know what he sees and how he sees it. i know him. i see it from another angle. i like this angle, so don't move.

you moved. see you soon.

i hate how my body tricks me into you using feelings that i create.

"wild never really calls. and commitment always calls."

well, i am a wild commitment. i am a different kind of person. you don't know who that person is yet because every single door is closed. but you didn't even know doors existed in this 12 story house. you were still in the driveway waiting for someone to open your door.

i will show you how. 

Digging Towards The Root.

Click to read:  http://www.flickr.com/photos/ihatewetsocks/3232579825/sizes/o/

I love to write. It sets me free from what flows through my pen, if that is my intention. In other instances, the writing is so very well a piece of me, that I cannot stop looking at it. The feeling that flows through me when I pick it up a short while, forgotten but not lost, is indescribable. 

Last night, my car was destroyed. It was sometime around 2:30 am and I was editing a film on my computer when I should have been sleeping. The window was open and all I could feel was the cool wind. And then that cool wind brought in the sound of a shock system of oh, say, a Volvo S60, casing the small dip of the grass. 

After a short explosion of metal crunching and dust glass shattering, I was just getting outside. I called out Anthony and Sean. Sam was there too, unexpectedly. We all go outside to see what had happened. 

My car had been hit from the passenger side. The door was unable to be opened. The trunk was inside itself. There is no better way than saying that. Sams car was screwed too. A For Sale sign laid PERFECTLY upside her car. Of course I shot it. I tried talking cameras to the csi photographer. 

I said, "Oh Canon, huh? I have a 1D!" ................ "Okay nice talking to you!" 

haha, she was in the zone. 

My cat was in and around all three cars while the csi photog was shooting the scene. it was hilarious. i got several shots of that. the kid was drunk as all hell too. it was quite a scene. everyone was okay though even the dumbass. 

More to come. 

everything is connected.

this belief that everything is interconnected and woven together has been in my thoughts for a long time. i love finding things out and then finding literature and people that support it.

http://www.thelovinggod.com/2007/09/holographic-paradigm.html

so good. 

wonder.

wonder. 

you wonder if they are thinking the same thing. 
and you hope that they are. you really do.
everyone has done this. you will forget about this feeling
and then it will come rushing back to you as if it never had left.

it takes you over with such an
old smile. you tell everyone
about what is going on
and you know when you repeat a story to a friend

it definitely means something. 

things are too easy to remember. 
certain phrases cannot leave your memory
and reminders are left everywhere on post its in 
conversation, sticking right out. 

trying to hold in the explosions 
when something is too perfect
when the simplest hues in the sky
form the most breathtaking formation reflected 
onto your eye. 

there is one instance that captures my heart
the freeze frame of a night
the one that gets stopped with the rolling credits of the best 
movie you had ever seen before.

life.

day dreams of a daydream.

the shadows paint the walls
dancing at the pace of the 
wind, contouring to everything she reaches
in her breath. 
 
the wall stares back at me
blankly, but with more meaning
than if he were plastered with grafitti
it may be that he's needy, his bare white layer
reaching out for color. 
 
imagined through a window, 
out of boredom
out of love
out of wonder
out of people to stare at. 
 
the paint bucket wasn't that heavy. it actually was just awkward, much like the spelling of awkward. 
it had dried leftovers from a previous endeavor all which had run down the side, solidified and quiet.
dipping a hand in the paint feels too good. getting messy like a child, you feel young again and free. 
SPLATT, and drip. SPLATTT and drip. SPLATT and drip. 
two hands now.
WHOOSH as it flies through the air, intertwining colors as it cuts through her squalls, making its way eventually to this formerly
plain white wall. 
 
"Okay so page 21. Financial aid. say if i have a high EFC, everyone page 21. if you have a high EFC, you could get a loan"... and I come back. 
 

something new yet constant.

unending open vast space. more than you could ever imagine to be. it is still who you are. this is who you are.

welcome to being. 


a slow wind cools the man high up in the warm room
a man warm because of the love deeply rooted within him
it is him that this warmth is
you can see now, you can see now

a grounding sensation makes me want to fly 
the vultures are up above waiting for something to die
we will not harm those who prey on only death
only as we see all and respect

a different language a different look
all so new and beautiful 
fall in love with everyone
one at a a time

i can feel you all in the wind
some in the sun 
shine forth those whose time it is to shine
some are in the dark asking 
is this mine, oh, is this mine

ill admire the rain and storms and
the smallest things in between
droplets of almost frozen rain
remind me of you and you and even
you 

a certain song brings it back
a certain feeling rises up my neck 
i reach for what used to lay next to me, comfortably.
gone. but i am not sad, i am still breathing. and if within my breath
you are there, come out and let's dance. 

dance. 

this was two days in orlando.

talk of all kinds. the usage and experience. the stories that go with. life was this weekend. life is right now. life is played to music and that is love. 

park avenue records discussion about 150,000 DOLLAR record players. blue jimi and cigarettes on the wall thanks to rafael. weird creep fucks checking out indie girls who let indie get to their heads, which of course defy's the purpose, but what else is new. burrito disaster next door, before, and the polaroid experience featuring none other than troy "T.A.B.A." ansley himself. "Excuse me sir! what kind of camera is that?" 

Crunk Cookin (for those of you who don't know (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwcOERnIbNY) the sequel featuring fog machines, J-Diddy and smoke detectors and fried okra death. mini guitar jams all around... 

Kiss me. Swing swing. haha. from the balcony to the half dressed ladies at the pool. ah, the memories. so beautiful. 

troy and i constantly freaking out karen with our gayness. so good. so us. broken social scene presents kevin drew: Spirit If!, Thurston Moore, Echo and the Bunnymen, and the new Sigur Ros album... all on vinyl. 

the painting exchange for my shittily blown up version (I owe you Diana, i really do. it's so beautiful.) 

Tiara. this is across the universe. "what exactly is this?" talk of nothing much, but nonetheless, it was good to see you. keep in touch friend. 

Steak showing us footage of the best skateboarders ever. Troy showing us footage of the scariest news ever, as usual. the idea of making a documentary in which, according to TABA, we are not to eat, drink, or do anything, because you might die and the government is trying to kill us through any action we commit... coming to a youtube channel near you. 

talk of lies, and the truths behind them. the setting free. we know and we will figure this out. or maybe not. the mystery excites. 

the energy exchange. the colors. The most vibrant RED, father feelings through my hands, the tube and almost travel through the layers of texture, the emerald green, the FEELING THE KNOWING FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK... the smooth sound of falling water into a nearby pool, the ever so faint gusts of wind, perfectly molding to contour our bodies. the chair up on the stairs. the reaffirming thank you's. the chakras balanced and refreshed, the lightness, the floating feeling. hunger disappears, only to return with a vengeance. 

breakfast. hot sauce for you jamie. the songbird for the boy. the lifter of heavy burdens with an angelic voice. "thunder only happens when it's rainin" and babe, i'm gonna leave you. goodbye. 

the revival of curb skating. no i can't get the mail with you dorsa, i owe them a year of rent. i went anyway. sketchy. dorsa fainted. dorsa looks like lionel richie, but of course can pull it off with an undeniable sexy steez... 

troy and karen wear the same clothes. karen models. troy hates on the white one. karen has a macbook air tight weighs as much as a penny marketing bullshit probably cost 10 bucks to make, imac. troy hates on mac, lawrence feels disgraced. :) 

what are we going to do. i don't know, what do you want to do. i don't know, what can we do. troy what can we do. troy troy troy you know what to do. come on troy. please troy show us a cool place troy. come on troy. 

hummus palace. hummus kingdom come, thy will be done. on earth as it is in heaven. kristi got no falaffel. Kristi, why didn't you get any? Kristi, what did you get? kristi, your food is not as good as ours. these are not exact. cheese and hummus fried amazing shit thank you troy. "Let's get FUCKED UP!" we get up in unision. 

old ropeswing. fuck redneck fucks who burnt it down and made it a haven for budweiser cases and ripped t-shirts. you killed something beautiful, and what is around is what you are, so don't be surprised. we walk through and explore. troy leads the way. kristine, a photo of your feet with these beautiful leaves, please? yes. okay. onward! we find car parts. we find a house. we find heart shaped objects with seeds inside. ill hold your hand to let you over this log. yes i will. karen, a photo of you by the fire? 

steak entertains the skaters. jon entertains the masses. i entertain the hungry. lawrence entertains the dreamers. dorsa entertains the hairless. troy entertains the thirsty. karen entertains the beautiful. jamie entertains the listeners. kristine entertains the eyes. kristi entertains the backseat of my altima, alone and with her pillow that she forgot in karens car, last minute, while lawrence and i discuss the dreamscape, reality, and good music. sleep on sister friend, sleep on. 

drop off kristi. the real shit comes on through. there are those who don't have to speak to me because we both already know but we try to convey those feelings anyway because they resonate so deeply within us that it is hard to keep them quiet. and quiet is not us. not now.

REconsider.

At 5:00 P.M. EST, Lawrence Smith and myself, started a project. "You are loved." was sent to the first few people in our phonebooks of our cellphones. "This will cheer up their fridays." If a response comes in like "who is this?" we send "it's not about who it is it's about the message."

This is the first experiement of many. A magazine will be in the works soon too. It will be called Reconsider: A Creative Revolution Magazine. 

I have to go to work. My phone won't stop. 

Spread it. 

Lawrence, Jamie and I rode bikes down to the beach today. I found a sharks tooth. Justin Lee sent me this link.

http://www.experiencefestival.com/a/Spiritual_Awakening/id/1936

other good things happening.