Be Here Now.

december11th2011

2011-12-11T17:05:00.000-08:00

all those things ive read are finally coming together. it feels like way too fast, but im sure thats a lot of us. snychronisites have been so abound that i just say 'of course!' instead of wow.

yesterday was joe's birthday. ryan shared with us his fruit of labors and amaresh and cynthia joined as well. bike rides to the drum circle. a different sort of experience happened where the same place i usually go to was easily visited. it felt wild to disappear into that world. all negative space around humans was filled with entites of darkness, but necessarily bad spirits. they were everywhere. i realized the circular nature of perfection that is so much of permaculture, reiki, and nature in general. its so present.

i have applied with ryan to go to the patititi institute in peru. i am seriously excited. a shamanic permaculture course is being offered and i sent an inquiry to this place and then soon after, emily sent me an email with the SAME place in it, saying it was her friend Roman's deal. well, it is and i can't wait to learn from this man. im getting a discount for photo trade and vegan cookbook preparing.

dorsa moved in two days ago. joe is possibly going back home. i don't know where i am going. sarah is unsure sort of as well. time will tell.

2011-09-20T16:48:00.001-07:00

My sweat balled and Almost became absorbed into her skin. Slient breathing. Eyes closed.

2011-07-16T21:14:00.001-07:00

It sounds sensable. Or rather i mean to say it sounds that such a show has ability of sense.

everything nothing

2011-05-25T23:31:00.001-07:00

everything nothing, originally uploaded by Ihatewetsocks.

2011-05-23T17:18:00.001-07:00

The ice is thin but were good swimmers

2011-04-23T18:04:00.001-07:00

Dad covered up tattoos of mom. Feel that. We have a strangeness built in.

2011-04-01T20:05:00.001-07:00

Prints of shred shed crew at brus, gene from leaves n roots,

2011-04-01T19:11:00.001-07:00

2 oz elderberry berries, ten or so birdseye cayenne, marshmallow, one ounce get well soon, garlic raw, ginger added later, orange blossom raw unpasteurized

2011-03-16T23:20:00.001-07:00

Make bed room with russell, make my room music room

2011-03-16T04:55:00.001-07:00

Another cliche photo idea. "the reflection" with no point to it being a reflection. -Bh

2011-03-14T11:20:00.001-07:00

Eventually empty

2011-03-11T15:16:00.001-08:00

Fluffernutter raisin sweet potato burrito

2011-03-11T12:10:00.001-08:00

Blow up hear hums prints, dark sea, spirit tramp, malee, bring to tally

2011-03-10T20:15:00.001-08:00

If corrective vision was never thought up would anyone have bad eye sight?

jkg

2011-03-10T19:28:00.001-08:00

Im gonna sound like a complete jackass but i take japanese swordsmenship lessons. - Brian phillips

2011-03-09T13:37:00.003-08:00

ing that normally gets thrown away and replaced. In the same instant.

2011-03-09T13:37:00.001-08:00

Its hilarious that people would rather try to persue a feeling then to just be that feeling. Feelings are free items, and we shouldnt get so caught up in someth

2011-03-08T22:38:00.001-08:00

What if there was paint on our hands so we could see everything we did. Love your paintings.

2011-03-08T13:04:00.001-08:00

Start photo trade with palmers for garden build in backyard/misty forest.

2011-03-07T13:40:00.001-08:00

1) flowers 2) sunsets 3) models 4) nature 5) abandonded buildings 6) underwater pictures in their friends pool

2011-03-06T17:13:00.001-08:00

Partial artifitcial

2011-03-03T14:32:00.001-08:00

Proof of inspiration

2011-03-03T10:18:00.001-08:00

I remember what it feels like. When you wake up from sleeping on your arm the whole night and its the worst pins and needles ever. You know how to move but cant

2011-02-28T15:37:00.001-08:00

Pax said peace

2011-02-27T19:15:00.001-08:00

If you see yourself in a mirror you can shake your own hand

2011-02-26T21:15:00.001-08:00

Sunrises through powerlines

2011-02-26T20:43:00.001-08:00

Cover sound aand vision

2011-02-26T19:29:00.001-08:00

Spanish metal

2011-02-23T12:21:00.001-08:00

Isnt this what you wanted/let me paint you a picture

2011-02-22T16:00:00.001-08:00

From dad

2011-02-16T23:08:00.001-08:00

Sass quatch

2011-02-16T18:25:00.001-08:00

Think hearter

2011-02-15T22:27:00.001-08:00

I wanna see stars not ceilings

2011-02-15T22:01:00.001-08:00

Just realized my place as space changer. I have seen my own influence.

2011-02-13T19:06:00.001-08:00

Jesus still hangs around our necks

2011-02-13T16:36:00.001-08:00

Its getting used to the cold, you can look it up, were getting old but so is the book,

2011-02-11T08:03:00.001-08:00

Here we are singing the words to each other that we just cant say

2011-02-10T20:10:00.001-08:00

So much more emotion is involved in technology now. Imagine feeling those feelings in msdos.

2011-02-09T18:25:00.001-08:00

Tapes of proof

2011-02-09T13:54:00.001-08:00

Water what you have already planted

2011-02-09T11:59:00.001-08:00

I just realized the tennis ball on the antenna was to have you know where your car was.

2011-02-09T00:07:00.001-08:00

Now

come back home

2010-11-24T19:38:00.000-08:00

a table was just acquired. i was one house off however, for about ten minutes, tugging on an unrelenting garage. i call julie to ask the code to the keypad that i had found. "there is no code... you're at the wrong house."

i just slowly crashed harold's motorcycle. somehow not scratched. it is nighttime though. sharp turn to lay on ankle. pushups commencing.

basketball was revisited last sunday. justin, julian, matt, moriah, leon, and steve. i remember how much time i put into basketball. i still remember.

times have been crazy enough to grant me the idea of a new tattoo. coming soon. (joseph campbell inspired... row your boat...built to spill...photography...)

"school doesn't understand what care means" - joe

when we are close everything disappears.

i learned lover's carvings by bibio. you should listen to it. it gets the smiles rolling.

there will be a gallery sort of thing at my job in march. i am going to have the theme be gratitude. i think.

our hands are supposed to be feeling the face of the other and if that isn't apparent than we must be underwater

swollen

2010-10-08T10:01:00.000-07:00

i project what i want onto new dark walls and hope for a clear focus when i should just do it right. there is someone who makes sheets and she is beautiful.

massages should be frequent and understood that it is a necessary tool to heal and understand our own stress.

meditation can show you what youre doing. whether it's thinking too much or getting caught in the 'loop' of circular mindless repetition (while still questioning why/how and not being aware of the fact that you are directly participating in the role you produce each and everyday.

we do it to ourselves. and isn't that something to admire? we all bury ourselves just enough to realize that oxygen really is necessary. there are relationships that continue that have lost life a long time ago and THAT is okay because things end. so like you did in the beginning, embrace the end and get on with it. to be alone or not. it doesn't matter.

so, what does matter?

does it matter does it matter does it matter does it matter does it matter doesn't matter doesn't matter doesn't matter does it matter

have fun with what you have while you have it and if you don't care, then that is fine because we all will leave what we've created behind anyway. make a sick sandcastle or lay in the crashing waves.

feet that melted bags of ice because myelien sheath couldn't remember what 2 plus 2 was. old pain revisits me and i was reminded by an old brother that my pain should not go without recognition. how could someone heal others who has never been hurt? dance with that.

fourth of july smoke

2010-07-10T15:39:00.001-07:00

fourth of july smoke, originally uploaded by Ihatewetsocks.

i miss you

Katherine YOU

2010-04-17T15:00:00.001-07:00

Katherine YOU, originally uploaded by Ihatewetsocks.

i love you

2010-02-19T08:46:00.001-08:00

i love you, originally uploaded by rabbit furcoat.

this is from leah

they turned their backs on us johnny

2010-01-30T09:50:00.001-08:00

they turned their backs on us johnny, originally uploaded by Ihatewetsocks.

johnny has recently had part of the veil removed in his life. he went and bought a book called Your Body's Many Cries For Water

(http://www.amazon.com/Your-Bodys-Many-Cries-Water/dp/0962994235)

After reading this book, he came to realize that many many things are ass backwards in this world. he started telling me things like "they have to know that the things they put in food aren't good... then why are they doing it?" or "doctors have to know that medicine is not helping people at all"

it is quite a fucked up thing we all are going through. it is time to perhaps reevaluate what you are putting into your body. that is, if it feels necessary to do so. you will know when it is the right time.

in response to the simple truth of drinking more (real*) water, i have heard on more than one occasion the phrase "i don't like the way it tastes" or "there is no flavor in water." this is absolute absurdity. just because it 'tastes good' or it 'seems fine' does not mean it is. i sound like a kindergarten teacher, but this is the point we are at right now. this is where we need to start, education wise. the reason why real foods and water doesn't taste so 'great' to us is becaues our mouths have been over stimulated by these fucking insane chemicals and over powered by sugars whether they are artificial or not. we are addicted to the things we eat without even realizing that this is the source of our pain. so then we run off to a person in a white coat to tell us "you have type 2763 diabetes and you need to be insulated right away and you better cut down your sugar intake but surely go and drink diet coke and you will be fine (NO)".

My father and step mom have recently decided to attend school again. It is online school where the 'teacher' speaks over an intercom to all the 'students' across the classroom. students speak in a chatroom interface. They are both taking introductory nutrition courses. I have heard such things as "high fructose corn syrup is the same as sugar" and "diet soda is okay for you" and "follow the pyramid and you will be okay." This all being from an institution of HIGHER LEARNING.

To see all of this, one must really be able to take a step back. Several at that, actually. Let go of your attachments to your ethnocentric systems and see all of this for what it is. Then we can start to pick up the pieces.

2010-01-21T09:26:00.001-08:00

Volunteer Opportunities for Disaster Relief are Extremely Limited

"Volunteers without prior disaster relief experience are generally not selected for relief assignments. Candidates with the greatest chance of being selected have fluency in the language of the disaster-stricken area, prior disaster relief experience, and expertise in technical fields such as medicine, communications logistics, water/sanitation engineering. In many cases, these professionals are already available in-country. Most agencies will require at least ten years of experience, as well as several years of experience working overseas. It is not unusual to request that volunteers make a commitment to spend at least three months working on a particular disaster. Most offers of another body to drive trucks, set up tents, and feed children are not accepted. Keep in mind that once a relief agency accepts a volunteer, they are responsible for the volunteer's well-being -i.e., food, shelter, health and security. Resources are strained during a disaster, and another person without the necessary technical skills and experience can often be a considerable burden to an ongoing relief effort. "

- http://www.cidi.org/donate.htm

"Most offers of another body to drive trucks, set up tents, and feed children are not accepted."

Why can this not be okay? Why can't I help people that are dying? Tax write off? Fuck you.

2010. 1.

2010-01-15T11:36:00.001-08:00

Books. I have fallen in love with books. I remember my old responses when asked if I liked to read. They were always something like "Yeah, right" and then followed by a chuckle of sorts. The same responses I see from many friends and people that I know. These kids are polluted with garbage in school that teaches almost nothing at all. They don't read what they want to. They read what they have to, if that even.

The only thing that will ever save us is knowledge. It is such a beautiful revelation to have that EUREKA moment and to just KNOW what to do.

I just got called for a photoshoot. Shit is happening. Yes.

If you have eyes, look at this:

http://thepiertoforever.blogspot.com/2009/12/lessons-of-aughts.html

man dog

2009-11-25T15:58:00.001-08:00

man dog, originally uploaded by Ihatewetsocks.

i will pass by a mirror and be surprised by what i see. i always forget what i look like. that may sound crazy, but it's so true.

leaving for china by mid march to teach english for nine months. i wonder what can happen from now until then. 2010 came so fast. time is becoming less and less real to me. it's strange/awesome.

these walls aren't pillows.

i have been shooting a lot of photography. i got a website up. www.ralphsreel.com i might have already posted that, but that's fine.

this photo is from going up to orlando recently for karen's 21st birthday. it was a really great time. i love my friends.

today felt good

2009-09-10T21:20:00.000-07:00

yo la tengo makes me feel good.

i have figured out that i am addicted to people. for everything. for the pain, the love, the hate, the stories, the silence, the memories, the not so random random encounters, the beautiful women, the honest men, the lies, the scars, and smiles and tears. i want to talk to everyone. i want to hear everyone's heart pound their words and have their eyes hold on to mine like i was the last person that would hear them.

in nyc, i loved when i would walk by someone and by chance of motion, our eyes would lock and hold for what seemed like hours. it's as if you and that person are trying to learn as much as you possibly can about the other by being entranced by their line of vision.

i walked by a woman in a whole foods who rammed her elbow into a counter top by accident and she mouthed "oh fuck!" silently and i saw it all happen. instantaneously i get a sharp pain in my elbow on the same side she hit. i feel your pain.

i am going to write to someone i don't know about some things. try writing a letter. it feels way better than electric mail.

2009-08-14T18:02:00.000-07:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ihatewetsocks/3821095972/

click all sizes.

2009-08-01T10:02:00.001-07:00

Deerhunter - Twilight at Carbon Lake from Ralph Giunta on Vimeo.

hmm

2009-05-31T22:26:00.000-07:00

this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hpulH9LszQI

there are many things going on. a lot of guitar playing and film scanning and skateboarding too. something like an 8 minute skate montage, a good 10 minute storm video (all lightning shots, filmed on the beach at night), and a film to a Amiina song. I am working on many thing simultaneously which can be frustrating when a result would be nice. and i'm also doing two documentary kind of videos... one on the cruise i went on and one on the trip to ashville, north carolina i just went on. it seems that you always want to be in the place that you are not. that feeling is a horrible one, but a feeling nonetheless.

look into my eyes.

2009-04-15T11:11:00.001-07:00

NKC

2009-03-19T23:21:00.000-07:00

I was listening to vinyls from Nat King Cole the other day as it was raining. it was so perfect. just waking up with that late morning feel. the tones of a rainy day lightly coloring my room and my mood. if you never experienced this, i suggest you find a friend with a record player and a goodwill nearby. i am positive they will have at least 20 Nat King Cole records.

since i have left kaplan university, working as an admissions advisor, i have found that happiness. i have found my childhood curiousity and intuition again. everyone should get back in touch with this, but it is so hard because we don't give ourselves the time to. life is not work or a job or school or a sport or i don't even know what else. it is all of those things, of course, but it is SO much more than that.

i find it hard to explain this right here and now, but i feel like i am preaching anyway, so i will chill and go back to editing.

SKATE

2009-03-18T09:57:00.001-07:00

http://vimeo.com/3736319

Eamon, Tom, and myself skated the delray park the other day. we filmed and eamon made a little ditty to it all. i was inspired and have been getting on my own edits as well. all new stuff coming soon.

the stories that are just of now.

2009-02-15T23:42:00.001-08:00

all it took was one photograph. and imagine if i had been the one to capture it. i would not have kept such a perfect composure around you. i would have barely been able to focus a camera, no less myself on the task at hand.

i once sent you a message. i told you how beautiful you were and all i did was tell you that. the response back (nothing) killed me. for some reason, it did. and i stopped there.

i fell in love with you shortly thereafter, but did not realize it until one busy night a few months ago. the music was beautiful and that's why we were there. not together, but together like everyone else. but i like to say that it was something more unique. this was being said to me through your eyes.

i moved my way up to you amongst the others. i told you things and you told me things back, but your voice was much sweeter, naturally. i will never forget your smile. and i will never forget your boots. and how they remind me of someone else, but i don't even fucking care. i was just so happy.

____

it was a late night at work. a really late night, as most others would think. coming home around 2:15 am to find people still at my house. i minded this of course, until i laid my tired eyes on you. the time was a little past halloween, but not december.

we first spoke about eckhart tolle. that's because his book was in my hand. you scoffed at me as if i were just hitting the surface. i felt that pretty hard. it was playful though. ( i think)

we all ended up in my room. one a stranger who i knew very well, a friend of his, and a few others. musical projects discussed (and played), and the like but before any of this, you and i spoke. we spoke of spirit and of the love of wisdom. and of the mind and of the study of the mind. of energy and of life. you ran downstairs to get something spectacular.

and that it was. a binder filled with information that made me want to never let you go. because anyone with the slightest bit of information on anything like this makes me love them, and you had a fucking binder filled with personal research. you knew more than me. you could teach me.

and you left. and i didn't see you for a long time. and i tried. and i tried. and i spoke. and i heard your name called back to me through others. but it was never where i looked.

but when i said goodbye, you accidentally said hello in the most random but expected once found out, kind of places. you still look the same. i like that.

i am surprised to hear that i am spoken about amongst people i barely know. it is a strange feeling and it makes me wish i didn't have the feeling of wanting to know what they really spoke about. but just know that i think of even the ones i have met once. i really do love you all.

___

i never thought it would be so easy to fall in love through emails. i mean, fuck, are you kidding me? take a look.

here i am, sitting and looking busy but really waiting for a reply to a question that i don't even want to ask. what i really want to know is how the fuck did this happen to me? and so fast? i remember the first time i saw you. your walk meant business, and i had never been attracted to that. i loved this appeal you carry. but it's something that dissapears outside of the office. you become who you really are. you play "name a name from every letter of the alphabet" while lying on your carpet instead of a couch because you were wrongly robbed of furniture and things to do and of a dog that used to be the only thing that kept you going. you like structure. a lot. you like catholicism for this reason, and that is understandable, because it's whole thing is structure. i then pointed out to you that maybe, you had a fear of the unknown. a fear of the future; the seemingly unstructured. you shook your head in acknowledgement before you even knew i was right. you didn't want to take it, but it was yours to own, and you signed.

i showed you lights. i finally showed you the lights. i finally saw you. you are innocent in a means of knowledge outside of cnn and the looks of a favorite bar, if you were still going to them. i asked when you would be finished and you said no. i said is this now home, and you said yes. i found out about your family. i love it all. i found out about him. i love that too.

in a weird under my breath but meant to be heard and then used to instigate the discussion i really want to hear voice came "Plastic Surgery" as i read it off a lit up marquee we passed on the way back to your apartment. you told me your opinion. i smiled and said i know. then you remembered that you had given me access to your whole life before you ever really knew who i was. you gave me the password to your private life and i didn't need permission after that. i read who you are and where you have come from and what you used to be. i don't think you can see integrally as well as i do, but i can't wait for you to. you said you had trouble seeing the future. i know you do. because you're afraid it won't be what it is right now.

___

i see you everywhere i go. and of course, i used to hate this, but now, i cherish it. i use this as a guide. thank you.

___

you are too much the same as myself. we had a conversation not too long ago in which i just repeated the same "I know" over and over like a boy trying to get off the phone with his grandmother. you told me everything that i am. some even surprised me. more because you were speaking about yourself and how you are.

then you showed me a dialouge. i fell into that. i told a friend. he told me of a dream. you were in that dream and compared to another, current at that time, you ringed with harmony with me. with perfect harmony. i couldn't believe it, but i could and i did.

i had also dreamed about you once before. it was all too strange to bring back to now, but it was a beach, shells, a sexual connotation, a football, cell phones, and a question of "so, are you going to do something?" and wake up.

i have heard a lot about your fake spirituality. but i beg to differ after speaking to you. i know what he sees and how he sees it. i know him. i see it from another angle. i like this angle, so don't move.

you moved. see you soon.

i hate how my body tricks me into you using feelings that i create.

2009-02-15T22:42:00.000-08:00

"wild never really calls. and commitment always calls."

well, i am a wild commitment. i am a different kind of person. you don't know who that person is yet because every single door is closed. but you didn't even know doors existed in this 12 story house. you were still in the driveway waiting for someone to open your door.

i will show you how.

Digging Towards The Root.

2009-01-27T20:42:00.000-08:00

Click to read: http://www.flickr.com/photos/ihatewetsocks/3232579825/sizes/o/

I love to write. It sets me free from what flows through my pen, if that is my intention. In other instances, the writing is so very well a piece of me, that I cannot stop looking at it. The feeling that flows through me when I pick it up a short while, forgotten but not lost, is indescribable.

Last night, my car was destroyed. It was sometime around 2:30 am and I was editing a film on my computer when I should have been sleeping. The window was open and all I could feel was the cool wind. And then that cool wind brought in the sound of a shock system of oh, say, a Volvo S60, casing the small dip of the grass.

After a short explosion of metal crunching and dust glass shattering, I was just getting outside. I called out Anthony and Sean. Sam was there too, unexpectedly. We all go outside to see what had happened.

My car had been hit from the passenger side. The door was unable to be opened. The trunk was inside itself. There is no better way than saying that. Sams car was screwed too. A For Sale sign laid PERFECTLY upside her car. Of course I shot it. I tried talking cameras to the csi photographer.

I said, "Oh Canon, huh? I have a 1D!" ................ "Okay nice talking to you!"

haha, she was in the zone.

My cat was in and around all three cars while the csi photog was shooting the scene. it was hilarious. i got several shots of that. the kid was drunk as all hell too. it was quite a scene. everyone was okay though even the dumbass.

More to come.

everything is connected.

2009-01-25T10:07:00.000-08:00

this belief that everything is interconnected and woven together has been in my thoughts for a long time. i love finding things out and then finding literature and people that support it.

http://www.thelovinggod.com/2007/09/holographic-paradigm.html

so good.

wonder.

2009-01-24T01:08:00.001-08:00

wonder.

you wonder if they are thinking the same thing.
and you hope that they are. you really do.
everyone has done this. you will forget about this feeling
and then it will come rushing back to you as if it never had left.

it takes you over with such an
old smile. you tell everyone
about what is going on
and you know when you repeat a story to a friend

it definitely means something.

things are too easy to remember.
certain phrases cannot leave your memory
and reminders are left everywhere on post its in
conversation, sticking right out.

trying to hold in the explosions
when something is too perfect
when the simplest hues in the sky
form the most breathtaking formation reflected
onto your eye.

there is one instance that captures my heart
the freeze frame of a night
the one that gets stopped with the rolling credits of the best
movie you had ever seen before.

life.

day dreams of a daydream.

2009-01-22T20:46:00.001-08:00

the shadows paint the walls
dancing at the pace of the
wind, contouring to everything she reaches
in her breath.

the wall stares back at me
blankly, but with more meaning
than if he were plastered with grafitti
it may be that he's needy, his bare white layer
reaching out for color.

imagined through a window,
out of boredom
out of love
out of wonder
out of people to stare at.

the paint bucket wasn't that heavy. it actually was just awkward, much like the spelling of awkward.
it had dried leftovers from a previous endeavor all which had run down the side, solidified and quiet.
dipping a hand in the paint feels too good. getting messy like a child, you feel young again and free.
SPLATT, and drip. SPLATTT and drip. SPLATT and drip.
two hands now.
WHOOSH as it flies through the air, intertwining colors as it cuts through her squalls, making its way eventually to this formerly
plain white wall.

"Okay so page 21. Financial aid. say if i have a high EFC, everyone page 21. if you have a high EFC, you could get a loan"... and I come back.

something new yet constant.

2009-01-12T19:29:00.003-08:00

unending open vast space. more than you could ever imagine to be. it is still who you are. this is who you are.

welcome to being.

a slow wind cools the man high up in the warm room
a man warm because of the love deeply rooted within him
it is him that this warmth is
you can see now, you can see now

a grounding sensation makes me want to fly
the vultures are up above waiting for something to die
we will not harm those who prey on only death
only as we see all and respect

a different language a different look
all so new and beautiful
fall in love with everyone
one at a a time

i can feel you all in the wind
some in the sun
shine forth those whose time it is to shine
some are in the dark asking
is this mine, oh, is this mine

ill admire the rain and storms and
the smallest things in between
droplets of almost frozen rain
remind me of you and you and even
you

a certain song brings it back
a certain feeling rises up my neck
i reach for what used to lay next to me, comfortably.
gone. but i am not sad, i am still breathing. and if within my breath
you are there, come out and let's dance.

dance.

this was two days in orlando.

2009-01-12T19:24:00.000-08:00

talk of all kinds. the usage and experience. the stories that go with. life was this weekend. life is right now. life is played to music and that is love.

park avenue records discussion about 150,000 DOLLAR record players. blue jimi and cigarettes on the wall thanks to rafael. weird creep fucks checking out indie girls who let indie get to their heads, which of course defy's the purpose, but what else is new. burrito disaster next door, before, and the polaroid experience featuring none other than troy "T.A.B.A." ansley himself. "Excuse me sir! what kind of camera is that?"

Crunk Cookin (for those of you who don't know (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwcOERnIbNY) the sequel featuring fog machines, J-Diddy and smoke detectors and fried okra death. mini guitar jams all around...

Kiss me. Swing swing. haha. from the balcony to the half dressed ladies at the pool. ah, the memories. so beautiful.

troy and i constantly freaking out karen with our gayness. so good. so us. broken social scene presents kevin drew: Spirit If!, Thurston Moore, Echo and the Bunnymen, and the new Sigur Ros album... all on vinyl.

the painting exchange for my shittily blown up version (I owe you Diana, i really do. it's so beautiful.)

Tiara. this is across the universe. "what exactly is this?" talk of nothing much, but nonetheless, it was good to see you. keep in touch friend.

Steak showing us footage of the best skateboarders ever. Troy showing us footage of the scariest news ever, as usual. the idea of making a documentary in which, according to TABA, we are not to eat, drink, or do anything, because you might die and the government is trying to kill us through any action we commit... coming to a youtube channel near you.

talk of lies, and the truths behind them. the setting free. we know and we will figure this out. or maybe not. the mystery excites.

the energy exchange. the colors. The most vibrant RED, father feelings through my hands, the tube and almost travel through the layers of texture, the emerald green, the FEELING THE KNOWING FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK... the smooth sound of falling water into a nearby pool, the ever so faint gusts of wind, perfectly molding to contour our bodies. the chair up on the stairs. the reaffirming thank you's. the chakras balanced and refreshed, the lightness, the floating feeling. hunger disappears, only to return with a vengeance.

breakfast. hot sauce for you jamie. the songbird for the boy. the lifter of heavy burdens with an angelic voice. "thunder only happens when it's rainin" and babe, i'm gonna leave you. goodbye.

the revival of curb skating. no i can't get the mail with you dorsa, i owe them a year of rent. i went anyway. sketchy. dorsa fainted. dorsa looks like lionel richie, but of course can pull it off with an undeniable sexy steez...

troy and karen wear the same clothes. karen models. troy hates on the white one. karen has a macbook air tight weighs as much as a penny marketing bullshit probably cost 10 bucks to make, imac. troy hates on mac, lawrence feels disgraced. :)

what are we going to do. i don't know, what do you want to do. i don't know, what can we do. troy what can we do. troy troy troy you know what to do. come on troy. please troy show us a cool place troy. come on troy.

hummus palace. hummus kingdom come, thy will be done. on earth as it is in heaven. kristi got no falaffel. Kristi, why didn't you get any? Kristi, what did you get? kristi, your food is not as good as ours. these are not exact. cheese and hummus fried amazing shit thank you troy. "Let's get FUCKED UP!" we get up in unision.

old ropeswing. fuck redneck fucks who burnt it down and made it a haven for budweiser cases and ripped t-shirts. you killed something beautiful, and what is around is what you are, so don't be surprised. we walk through and explore. troy leads the way. kristine, a photo of your feet with these beautiful leaves, please? yes. okay. onward! we find car parts. we find a house. we find heart shaped objects with seeds inside. ill hold your hand to let you over this log. yes i will. karen, a photo of you by the fire?

steak entertains the skaters. jon entertains the masses. i entertain the hungry. lawrence entertains the dreamers. dorsa entertains the hairless. troy entertains the thirsty. karen entertains the beautiful. jamie entertains the listeners. kristine entertains the eyes. kristi entertains the backseat of my altima, alone and with her pillow that she forgot in karens car, last minute, while lawrence and i discuss the dreamscape, reality, and good music. sleep on sister friend, sleep on.

drop off kristi. the real shit comes on through. there are those who don't have to speak to me because we both already know but we try to convey those feelings anyway because they resonate so deeply within us that it is hard to keep them quiet. and quiet is not us. not now.

REconsider.

2009-01-09T14:00:00.000-08:00

At 5:00 P.M. EST, Lawrence Smith and myself, started a project. "You are loved." was sent to the first few people in our phonebooks of our cellphones. "This will cheer up their fridays." If a response comes in like "who is this?" we send "it's not about who it is it's about the message."

This is the first experiement of many. A magazine will be in the works soon too. It will be called Reconsider: A Creative Revolution Magazine.

I have to go to work. My phone won't stop.

Spread it.

2009-01-02T16:25:00.000-08:00

Lawrence, Jamie and I rode bikes down to the beach today. I found a sharks tooth. Justin Lee sent me this link.

http://www.experiencefestival.com/a/Spiritual_Awakening/id/1936

other good things happening.

12/25/08

2008-12-25T10:05:00.000-08:00

you were sitting on a circular stone ledge that wrapped around a little pool of water. i had walked by you before and definitely got the eyes. i got occupied with someone else. i came back shortly and sat down. you approached me verbally. you let me know that i looked exactly like ???, a celebrity. i was flattered. i started to exclaim your beauty, but you had had enough. you got up and walked away. you truely, were beautiful.

what is your name.

:)

2008-12-19T19:00:00.000-08:00

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ihatewetsocks/sets/72157611412295208/detail/

jay oh bee

2008-12-11T12:06:00.000-08:00

I got a job today. Or at least i interviewed for one. I can't take Kadela's Ethics and Morality now, but I called him and he wished me the best anyway. I will still attend his workshops and everything. I think this will all work out.

Kaplan University. Starting salary at 30k. Then from there, it can increase anywhere from 30 - 42 within the first year. after a year if im doing well, then i can work FROM HOME. which is the main goal. i will be doing admissions work, basically on the phone and computer all day.

When i was on the phone with John (Kadela) he told me i had an A in the class and that my paper was really good. here it is, judge for yourself.

There comes a time in someone’s life, where an immediate connection is made. A connection that runs straight to the core of one’s center and out of this sparks the journey for more; The center being soul and the journey of course, being life. In 1932, Joseph Campbell set out on a road trip across America, and while in Los Angeles, on the complete other side of the country from his home town of White Plains, New York, he realized a journey wasn’t it at all:
I begin to think that I have a genius for working like an ox over totally irrelevant subjects. … I am filled with an excruciating sense of never having gotten anywhere—but when I sit down and try to discover where it is I want to get, I'm at a loss. … The thought of growing into a professor gives me the creeps. A lifetime to be spent trying to kid myself and my pupils into believing that the thing that we are looking for is in books! I don't know where it is—but I feel just now pretty sure that it isn't in books. — It isn't in travel. — It isn't in California. — It isn't in New York. … Where is it? And what is it, after all? (Joseph Campbell Foundation)
Within the introduction of The Hero’s Journey (Cousineau, xv) Campbell goes on to describe “You are the mystery which you are seeking to know.” And with that we have the man that knew these timeless traditions and stories well enough to speak to the masses; through his books, travelling discussions, and interviews, Joseph Campbell showed the underlying connectedness intertwined and woven through all religions and mythology.

A Man of Mythological Proportions: Joseph Campbell

In 1910, Joseph Campbell was six years old when his father took him to Madison Square Garden to see Buffalo Bill’s Wild West Show and then to the Museum of Natural History. This sparked Campbell’s interest in Native Americans which would turn into his full blown mythological quest to go around the world. Growing up in New Rochelle, New York, he had nature as his backyard and the Indian lifestyle all around, finding arrowheads and Indian relics buried in the dirt. (Brown, Cousineau, 1990). Campbell spoke of Black Elk, a shaman from the Oglala Sioux, who said “that he had found himself on the central mountain of the world, but that anywhere is the center of the world.” (Brown, Cousineau, 8) With this he is speaking of the universality that nature has to teach us and offer to us. But we judge nature as right or wrong and with ethics that destroy the principles of it. That he says, is “the basic mythological problem.” (Brown, Cousineau, 8)
From 1922 to 1927, Joseph Campbell traveled during the summers with his family through Central America and Europe, and when doing this he was engaged in education. In 1927, he was given a traveling fellowship from Columbia, to go to the University of Paris. Here he met modern artists Picasso, Brancusi, and Klee and literary masters Joyce, Yeats, and Eliot. James Joyce wrote a book named Ulysses in Paris which perfectly portrayed Campbell’s current headache. That being deeply rooted into something (Christianity) and then you start to lose faith within that system. Campbell said it started with biology, specifically the biology of human evolution which was very different from what the Bible teaches in the book of Genesis. Campbell said, “And in those days we were supposed to be believing in this stupid literacy of a text that goes back to the first, second, third, fourth millennium B.C. And how can you go through life with that?” (Brown, Cousineau, 28)
He later became strongly influenced by Sanskrit and the work of Freud, Jung, and Thomas Mann. These later interests were while living in Germany and studying at the University of Munich. Campbell nails something extremely important with this quote from The Hero’s Journey:
“Now what Mann tried to do when he turned to mythology was to reinterpret Genesis in terms of elementary ideas that are implicit in the ethnic ideas of the Bible. It’s a very important task and it’s the only way to translate the Judeo-Christian heritage into a heritage for mankind instead of for a certain group. Do you get my point? It’s a big one. This is what everyone is working on who is trying to retain the positive values that are in this heritage, and at the same time move into a global period of life where we don’t isolate ourselves and say everybody else is worshipping devils.”
Mann did this through his art. Through the ‘erotic irony’ that he played out, meaning that was ruthless, but with love: Campbell referred to it as “the absolutely ruthless eye, which sends the arrow of the correct word to name the fault and on the arrow is the ointment of love.” (Brown, Cousineau, 39) In psychology, you have Jung now, who saw that the energy was the same in all of us. Through this he came up with the collective unconscious. Mythic symbols arise from the same place. Not from a specific person, but from a people. (Brown, Cousineau)
Campbell came from Europe two weekends before the stock market crash of 1929. He went to go back to Colombia to finish his PhD, but ended up leaving that alone. They were not interested in his ideas, and he didn’t feel like being molded by some professor. So Campbell moved up to Woodstock and lived there for five years. He would read for nine hours a day, every day. He lived on no money at all. The next step was his invitation out to Sarah Lawrence College in Bronxville, New York. He ended up taking a teaching position there and stayed for 38 years. It was an all women college, and this showed Campbell new sides to his own learning of mythology. The female perspective was added which included questions of relativity of life and meaning.
"I got this from the Sanskrit idea, that transcendence is transcendent. Now there are three words that come close to it: sat-chit-ananda, that is: sat is being, chit is consciousness, ananda is bliss. So ananda is the only thing you can be aware of. Follow it and you'll be all right. The probability is that when you follow it everything will work out, even if you think it won't." (Brown, Cousineau, 64)
By following your bliss, you are following your soul’s path. People have been told that heaven and bliss await you after death. Campbell says, “In heaven you will be having such a marvelous time looking at God that you won’t get your own experience at all. That is not the place to have the experience – here is the place to have it.” (Brown, Cousineau, 120)

In between 1985 and 1986 an interview took place between Bill Moyers and Joseph Campbell. It was called the Power of the Myth and was featured on PBS across the nation. It was also edited as a conversational type of book, edited by Betty Flowers. Campbell proves why mythology is important to us as humans. To all of us, not just a single group or anything like that. So, within the first chapter, Myth and the Modern World, Campbell shows that a perfect being would be boring. He says that “That is why some people have a very hard time loving God, because there is no imperfection there. You can be in awe, but that would not be real love. It’s Christ on the cross that becomes loveable.” He goes on to describe that “suffering is imperfection” and that the suffering causes the link to something more human and something relatable. Moyers points out that he finds that what he learned from Campbell’s books was “that what human beings have in common is revealed in myth.” Campbell beautifully returns with what people are really seeking in life. That being the “experience of being alive, so that our life experiences on the purely physical plane will have resonances within our innermost being and reality, so that we actually feel the rapture of being alive.” (5)
Through mythology, we can be shown the true human potential. We can compare ourselves to those heroes and gods and goddesses of the past and live up to morals and values. Moyers asks Campbell at one point, “What happens when a society no longer embraces a powerful mythology?” and Campbell replies with “What we’ve got on our hands.” He tells him to open up the New York Times, and that’s what is left. People not knowing how to behave in a society that they feel they have no place in. (Flowers, 8)
According to the Joseph Campbell Foundation, online, “In 1985, Joe was awarded the National Arts Club Gold Medal of Honor in Literature. At the award ceremony, James Hillman remarked, "No one in our century—not Freud, not Thomas Mann, not Levi-Strauss—has so brought the mythical sense of the world and its eternal figures back into our everyday consciousness." To be able to achieve this kind of goal, when those beings were his idols, must be something that he never saw coming. Joseph Campbell followed his bliss, and so should you.

Sweet. Rushed and done the night before, might I add.

Connected

2008-12-08T15:45:00.000-08:00

Joan Roth crashed into my car today in a check cashing store parking lot while i was collecting coins out of my cupholder to pay my library late fee for my book on Socrates. She is a huge part of a spiritual movement. www.thetentproject.org - her website.

all of this i found out when i just googled her name. she didn't really do much damage to my car, not nearly as much as John Guerrero did (hey buddy!) backing out of my driveway and into my car. so i told her i didn't want to call this into her insurance company. so we exchanged information. possible career? maybe.

10

2008-11-30T22:51:00.000-08:00

I now have 10 rolls in my car. I tried developing one, black and white 120, and i fucked up (again). i can't seem to line up the film correctly on the spool. ill get it.

Troy, Steak, Dorsa, and Jon came down for a little while. Eamon had a musical event featuring the likes of Tree/Soundz, Haha Evolution, Postmail, Kristen Prosen, Brian Downey and Rory Bender, and of course Jon Didier. I shot a whole roll there. give me a year.

Eamon, Jon and I went to backbone. I got a nice collection of vinyls. Pink Floyds UmmaGumma, Mammas and the Papas, a Rolling Stones one (play with fire, so good), Richard Pryor, Fleetwood Mac, CCR, to name a few.

2008-11-23T21:48:00.000-08:00

I just got a book on remote viewing. I am interested in this as well as so many other books. I am reading too many at the same time, but at least im reading.

I just finished a Socrates project for my philosophy class. It turned out well. The fact that we are still living in the shadow of Socratic thought 25 centuries later, blows my mind. The quest for the soul.

I saw Broken Social Scene last night. It was beautiful. Eamon pointed out to me tonight that it was a day short of an anniversary the last time I saw them in DC with everyone. To anyone and everyone : once in your life, go on a very random trip with a small group of people you know, that ends up meeting up with a larger group of people you dont know. its guaranteed fun (this being my DC experience).

I got suspended from work because I missed the meeting today. I went in to work as im scheduled, at 7, and saw someone had taken my shift already. I walked out laughing.

Eamon and I jammed tonight. I need to get more music equipment. I also need to start writing again.

I have 5 rolls of film, maybe four, sitting in my car ready to be developed. I am sure that many will be good ones. Prepare yourselves!

Tires Raise Questions.

2008-11-09T10:41:00.000-08:00

So I needed new tires. What better place to go is the tire place next to this other place that does car work. In a semi sketchy place, i park my car and wait in the one car line in front of me to get newly used tires.

I bust out the hassy like usual. i have been on a shooting rampage, and anything catches my eye ( I need to chill out.) So here I am aiming my uneven stare at these tires and i hear in the most curious tone with a hint of asshole

"What are you doing?"

I replied with the deep and philosophical with the question tone added at the end...

"Taking a picture? What are you doing?"

He said

Why?

I said

"Because I am a photographer? That's probably it."

"But why are you taking pictures of tires? Why tires man?"

The lady whose car he was messing with said,

"He is a fine art photographer."

I said "Exactly. Thank you for the title."

So we get to taking the tires off of my car. I am sitting close to the guy who was questioning my photographic motives.

Every time he unscrewed a lugnut, he asked if I wanted to take a picture.

There has never been a day

2008-11-07T19:44:00.000-08:00

that im not in love

with you, that, and this.

with my friends, skating, and music.

with the sky, the air, and the cold.

with food, thoughts, and food for thought.

with photography.

I want in.

2008-11-05T21:39:00.000-08:00

If music is the poetry and film is the literature, then i am the musician and the director.
Films produced entirely by myself, music made with people i personally know (eamon, david, judd, myself, troy, cary, joe, and many more) and filming just about anything. wherever i go, i film. story like, art like, realistic like, showing the true things. being a learner and an adventureer. Fuck, i want this so it's going to happen. i will make something beautiful that will inspire others to do the same.

start a housing program and work program overseas to get kids places to live and jobs to become stable off of. wowwww.

flickr.com/photos/ihatewetsocks

reasons

2008-11-02T01:35:00.000-07:00

there are too many things happening everyday for me to keep track. Good things. Happenings of connectedness. Beautiful things that happen, soon followed by a pop quiz in which i must answer correctly and pass, or the test will be brought upon me again in an unpredictable way. And only in hindsight, I could possibly see it.

I'm going to go work on my hindsight.